Moment to Moment

"It's amazing. We are so low on money, but you still manage to make an amazing dinner." Words from my youngest.

The end of February was particularly trying financially and March is not looking much better. I don't have enough money at the beginning of the month, much less at the end. But February had some surprises up her sleeve, surprises involving my car which you can read about (if you have not) in Finding Joy in 4 New Tires.

In addition to the new tires, I had an issue of a "hold" on my car which would not let me renew my tags/registration. A "hold?" For what? Well, it seems that in my move form VA to NC almost 3 years ago, somehow a personal property tax bill got lost in the shuffle. Now when something, anything, tax related gets lost in the shuffle, it means interest and penalties. After being sure that it was not an oversight on my end, it was proven that I did indeed owe some money to the state and they were not about to let my drive legally until I paid up. OK.....didn't count on that $350 going out. Didn't count on $460 for new tires either. Add in the original $60 for the renewal and inspection and you get a whopping $870 to make my car legal and safe to drive. My mother, bless her heart, loaned me the tire money which I will pay back with my March check. But, what that means is that March will come out $460 less at the end of the month.

I receive our monthly income on the second Wednesday of the month, so from the end of the previous month to that second Wednesday is sometimes quite "sketchy," as my boys say. With the additional car expenses in February, I have no money right now. I mean NO money. OK, I have $14 in my account and about $2 in change, so I do have a little bit. But that has to last me another week. I put 75 miles on my car just today and need gas. I have 3 hungry boys (no, they don't have any money; I already took that) who are always hungry. I have baked goods to take care of for my youngest son's swim meet on Saturday (I committed to do that a month ago). I need to go to the store and buy staples like milk. What to do?

This is where I shake my head, live moment-to-moment and pray. This afternoon's moment was dinner. What did I have on hand to make dinner? I certainly can't go the store and pick up a few things. I had some ground beef out in freezer, a boxed rice dish that came in a Thanksgiving care package, a jar of salsa, some frozen peas and a jar of applesauce. Well, there you go: dinner. I ended up combining the beef, rice dish and salsa and it was good! In fact it was "amazing," according to my youngest son.

Thank you Lord, for providing for me. Thank you for showing me what I DO have and not what I DON'T. Thank you for holding my hand when I feel lost and alone. Thank you for a son who knew I needed some encouraging words.

Speaking of encouraging words, I am also very grateful for a friend who has entered back into my life after about 35 years. We knew each other as kids and have had no contact since high school. Suddenly, fast forward 35 years, he is here. Little did he know that this morning the bottom fell out of the $14 in my account. For some reason, I went on line to access my account and found that I was $30 in the hole and had $64 in overdraft fees! Fortunately, it was a glitch in the system, they corrected the problem and I had my measly little $14 back. WHEW! But as I sat here, crying, praying to figure out how this negative balance could have happened, I received and email from this dear friend.

It simply said that I am very special and that he knows that I struggle every day with all kinds of crap from the past and that I needed to let it go and take a moment to think about my dedication to my work and how I am helping others. He said that I should be ending the day with the affirmation that I did good today. He went on to tell me not to be sad or frustrated with my life as it is the only one I have. I just want to say thank you, dear friend. Thank you for your friendship and your words of encouragement; they came at the just the right time.

I may only have $16 to my name, so technically I'm broke. However, I think that I'm the richest girl around. I make "amazing" dinners out of nothing and have family and friends who love and support me.

More than that, I have a Father in heaven who loves me, guides me, always provides for me and will never leave me, no matter what.

Thank you, Lord for all you do for me each and every day. Even when I think that I have nothing, you show me everything.

Whose Woods These Are.....

We finally got snow.....

March 2, 2009

This is our view off of the deck out back.

March means spring to me.

Mother Nature is a little late in my opinion.

But it is beautiful and makes me think of one of my favorite poems.....

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

by Robert Frost

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

Just Looking to Teach Drama

I teach art to elementary students. When I got the job I wasn't looking to teach art; I was looking to teach drama.

Let me back up..... When we lived here in Williamsburg, VA 10 years ago we were members of a church that we loved. However, upon moving back, we now go to the church that my mom goes to. I prayed about where to go and hers won out. I know it was the right choice and have no regrets. The other church is still dear to my heart though and they now have a school associated with them. For some reason, back in June I looked to see what kind of enrichment teachers they had. They had art, music, Spanish, & PE. No drama. I am a drama teacher and I saw that they had a need! So, I sent a resume in and told them in the cover letter how they and the students would benefit from a drama teacher.

I waited....no word came. Not even a reject letter. Then I ran into someone who I knew 10 years ago at the church and told her that I had sent the resume but never heard back. She told me that the school was transitioning to a new principal and perhaps my resume had gotten lost in the shuffle. Time to send the resume to the new principal. This time I heard right back; I had an interview almost immediately.

As I met with the principal, I saw that she was excited about a drama program, but there was a snag: they needed to fill the librarian position and the art teacher position before adding in another "special." Would I be interested in either of those? Well, to be the librarian would not be a problem. At the time I had over 3000 books in a personal library at home. SOLD-the librarian job goes to the girl who just wants to teach drama!

But the art teacher job, well that was an entirely different issue: I can't draw-my own judgment call. My dad and my oldest son, now they can draw and paint.....very well. Because my dad was so talented and my son is so talented, I looked at anything that I did as extremely inferior. However, thinking it through and talking with her and the assistant principal, I realized that I do not have to draw as well as my dad and son to teach art. SOLD-the art teacher job goes to the girl who just wants to teach drama!

But what about teaching drama? It was decided that we would alternate drama and library each week, so I am actually doing all 3 and loving every minute of it.

Regarding art, I had no idea that I would love teaching it so much! I am constantly looking for ideas and projects that other teachers are doing. I love helping my students to look outside the box. I love helping my students see that art does not have to be "perfect" or "just not good enough" for that it what I used to do and it got in the way of me having fun with art. My dad would have been so pleased and proud of me.One of my discoveries on line was Artsonia, a world-wide web gallery for kids to display their work. What a great idea for kids and their parents~their art on line! I immediately created an account and am putting up their art as soon as they are finished with it.

So, here is your invitation to visit our gallery at ARTSONIA.Please stop in.....we are conveniently located, open 24 hours a day, and opening new exhibits almost weekly! :-)

Finding Joy in 4 New Tires

Teen (boys!) drivers.....'nuf said!

Tires.....steel showing could be a problem. (But you don't know you have a problem if you can't see it.)

Blowout.....have you ever had a blowout? I have not and don't know what I would do if I did. Yes, I know what the books say to do, but I wonder if I'd remember if it really happened to me.

Inspection.....vehicle will not pass if steel is showing on tires.

I drive a Suburban. I let 2 of my sons (who have learner's permits) drive my Suburban. And I knew that I had a problem when my oldest said, "I don't think I want to ride in your car any more unless you get a new tire." (I am such a girl when it comes to cars. As long as it gets me there, I don't notice other things.) OK.....if he does not want to ride in it (much less drive it!), it is time to do something. So he changed the tire, putting the good spare on and taking the totally wasted one off. He informed me that we would be lucky if the other front one passed inspection. Cross fingers and pray.

So, I finally had time to take it in for the inspection and it failed.....for BOTH back tires which have steel showing (where the naked eye can not see). And the other front one barely squeaked by passing. "You'll need a new one on the front soon, M'am." Great.....like I have money for 4 truck tires laying around. You see, I can add: 3 new tires (after making the spare a spare again) + 1 old barely passing tire=4 new tires.

Home; please just let me get home, Lord. The fine for driving on a rejection sticker is $110 plus $75 PER reason failed (that would be 2 tires=$150) for a grand total of $260. Needless to say, I don't have that either. Enter my mom to the rescue as she offers to pay for me to have it taken care of now and I can pay her in 2 weeks when I have money once again.

Grateful.....grateful for a mom who helps me out and for a Father who protects me. I can not imagine what would have happened if my middle son had a blowout while driving 65 mph on the interstate last Saturday. Thank you, Lord.

Am I happy that I have to put out almost $500 for 4 new truck tires? No; I don't have it and we will now be very strapped in March.

Do I have joy because the Lord loves me, is with me and has continued to protect me and my boys? Yes; most definitely.

Fun With Photo Story 3

I've been playing around with pictures that I'm taking and having discovered Photo Story 3, I'm having a blast creating!

If you aren't familiar with Photo Story, check it out!

Here you will see the cutiest babies in the world, but of course, I'm a little biased!

(A winter walk on DOG Street)

One Year Anniversary

A year. It's been a year since I returned to Virginia, specifically Williamsburg. There are times when it seems like we just moved in, but more often than not, I feel like I've been back forever. I like that feeling. I remember when we pulled away from the island; friends were sad, some cried. I had to stifle and contain my myself~I was bursting with joy. I could not share that with them, for they would never understand.

Isn't it funny how just 20 months before I was ecstatic to be moving to the island, a place I loved, a place I vacationed for 10 years, a place my ancestors came to over 400 years ago. It was a place that I vowed I would call "home" one day just as those ancestors had. Only time spent living there would reveal why my direct line of ancestors left and why it is a wonderful place to vacation, but a less than ideal place to live.

Right now, if I never see a beach again, it would be too soon. I have no desire to go back.....ever. Being at a beach, any beach, would bring back a flood of hurt and bad memories; I'll have to pass on a day at the beach. One day I hope to come around, but it has to be on my time for complete healing. I do know this, if I do ever return to the beach, it will not be there. I've often thought that the only way I would go was if I had to do some genealogical work, specifically at old cemeteries that dot the island. But if I do, you can bet it will be incognito: the hat, the sunglasses, maybe even an accent. No one will recognize me.

I have not kept in touch with anyone down there except for one young man, a friend of my oldest, who recently found me on Facebook. Occasionally I receive a random group email from an islander, rarely a personal one. Good. Maybe they have forgotten about me.

Vacationers see it as a place of unspoiled beauty, a more relaxed life style, and a place to leave behind the pressures of daily life. If they only knew how expensive it is to live there, how inconvenient it is to live there, and how the phrase "get a life" is truth. Hurricanes and storms were the least of my worries. If visitors only knew the pressures of daily life there, especially for the kids. But they will never know about the island teens and that per capita there are more hard drugs on that little island than in Miami. Or about the alcohol.....and how many parents drink with their kids and introduce it to them before they even hit their teen years. And the families like my (distant) cousin: both of her teen girls (ages 15 & 17) are now pregnant. No, they'll never know the ugly truth. If they did, tourism might drop and the state depends on those tourist dollars. I guess this is part of my attitude problem toward the island: the truth is swept under the rug (or out into the sound) so that no one will know. If only the county would work as hard helping residents as it does building tourism.

The unspoken hurt that we experienced personally while on the island cut deep and even though it has been a year since I left, the scar remains and it occasionally aches. Time. They say time heals all wounds. Maybe. I don't know about this one. I do know this, God was with me every step of the way. It was not His will for me to live there, but He let me.

I think of Moses. He did not trust God to help him speak and kept saying, "But, Lord....." So the Lord said, "OK. Fine. Your brother Aaron, he can speak for you. Even though I'm God and can do anything, even with your mouth, you don't want to do it." So God made a concession and let Moses have his way and let Aaron be the mouthpiece. Little did Moses know that Aaron was going to pull that stunt with the golden calf. And then they wandered. 40 years was way too long for the Israelites to be wandering in the desert; it was an 11 day journey. But sometimes we don't take the direct route either and we wander. Thankfully I only wandered for 20 months. Lesson learned. Note to Self: Walk in His way, not mine. I can't say that I am grateful that I lived there, but I can say that I am grateful for what I learned. I'm grateful that the Lord let me get it out of my system (He made a concession with me too). I am grateful that He was there with me, even when I had not listened. I am grateful that He taught me many more lessons while I wandered. And I am grateful that He brought me out of it and into a better place.

Happy one year anniversary of me being back in Virginia, back home. So now.....raise your glass high....here's to no more looking back, only looking ahead! :-)

Rapunzel Scarf

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, please let down your....scarf!


At this point in my life, I don't have much time to craft anything and my time creating in the kitchen is just as minimal. It's OK, really. My time is devoted to my boys, my mom, and my work. I have often said that one day when these boys are grown and gone I will have more time than I know what to do with. It's all about the season of life that I'm in now and will be one day. However, that being said, I still want.....need.....to make something, anything. One night right after Christmas as I sat here at the computer, I found a "Rapunzel Scarf." You remember her; the girl in the tower with the long braids. Well, that is what this scarf is: one very long, very thick braid. No knitting or crocheting, just braiding. If you can braid and you have a large stash, you can have one too. My stash was a little on the boring side until I found that our local Dollar Tree has LOTS of fun yarn!

So, I pulled out the stash bins and began cutting 10' lengths, draping each length over my treadmill. You will need 30 lengths total. Be creative; mix and match all kinds of specialty and regular yarns: ribbon yarn, funky yarn, furry yarn, nice thick one color yarn, variegated yarn~have fun with it! You really can't go wrong. Although the original instructions said to do half regular and half specialty, I did not follow this. I just picked yarns that I liked (no matching required).

Once I had them all, I tied off one end, trimmed up that end and then brought it out to the living room where I secured it in a piece of furniture. I then divided the 30 lengths into 3 sections, each containing 10. I tried to divide them evenly according to the type of yarn, so that one section did not have all of the ribbon yarn in it or all of the solid yarn, etc. Now.....Let the braiding begin! Don't pull too tightly, let it be a medium-loose braid. At the other end, tie it off and trim it up. There~you did it!

Drape it around and around your neck. And when you go out, expect lots of compliments.

Anyone up for a Rapunzel Scarf yarn swap? I'll send you a 10' piece if you send me one in return; we can do more than just one piece. As long as we swap enough so that we all end up with 30 lengths, we'll each have a Friendship Rapunzel Scarf.

Let me know if you're interested.

Friends and Facebook~Final

This is it: the last on Facebook. I will eat my words, stick my tail between my legs and admit it.....I like Facebook.

I found theatre students from 20 years ago, my daughter's figure skating friend from 15 years ago, friends from Richmond. And yes, it is very cool to be back in touch. Now, mind you, I don't have a lot of "friends" like some do, but that's OK. I'm not in it for The Most Friends Award. I'm just in it for the fun of being back in touch and sharing lives.

Yep, I'll keep Facebook.

Friends and Facebook~Part 2

OK.

I am trying again.

It seems that if you go on your own "Home" page of Facebook you get all the garbage. However, if you go to your "Profile" page, you don't. Such confusion is just not fair for a girl who is ADD!

My son said he'd show me the ropes. So, I reactivated my account.

Within a few hours someone had found me and asked me to be his friend. Someone actually looked for me? I was shocked. Yes, it is good to reconnect with someone who was so influential in my middle son's life:his first piano teacher from Richmond. This evening I have sent friend invitations to some of my old theatre students and have heard back from them. Yes, I've reconnected. One lives in Richmond! Imagine that; she lived there when I did and I did not have a clue.

Maybe Facebook is OK after all.

Friends and Facebook

I decided to see if I could find some of my old theatre students. Doing a search on their names, I found several on Facebook (FB). Not having a FB account, my son said he'd help me set one up. I decided to take the challenge and set it up on my own; I was quite proud of myself. When he came downstairs, he gave me a quick overview and showed me how to accept him as a "friend." Yippee...I had 1 friend! (LOL)

So it seems that when you have a friend and your friend writes something on their own FB page, it shows up on yours. Not only that, when one of their friends returns a comment back, it also shows up on your FB page even if that other person is not one of your "friends." OK, I love my son, but I really don't care about his comments to his friends regarding inside jokes, who is going out with who, and just plain random teenage stuff. And I sure don't care about replies back regarding these same issues.

The "Help Center" section.....that's where I needed to go to find out how to 1) delete the random comments already on my FB from my son and his friends and 2) keep all those comments and replies from showing up in the future. In the "Help Center" I found a ton of FB users asking the very same questions. They don't want random comments either and some that had been left on their FB pages were reported as inappropriate.

The answer.....where was the answer? Well, they won't give an answer and there is no way to get rid of them. (However, if I am wrong and someone out there knows how to take care of this problem, please let me know.)

So, I quit.

I deactivated my account.

It lasted less than 2 hours.

To try and connect up with old friends is great, but not when I have to deal with every random comment made by my teenage son and his friends. I suppose it would be handy if I was trying to check up on my son and his friends; I could see what was being said between them. But that comes down to one word: trust. He has my trust and I am not having my own FB page for that reason.

Surely there are other ways to try and find old friends and reconnect.

Facebook is not one of them.